Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Why Playing 'Victim' Is Killing Your Progress
We all have moments when we 'play victim'. We whinge. We feel sorry for ourselves. We complain.
I 'did' victim just this week. I was looking at the marketing plan I had for next year and started to panic, 'How on earth am I going to juggle all of this when I'm having a baby in 4 weeks' time?!' I thought.
After a little while of paralysing panic, I realised I didn't need to make it happen all at once. If I broke it down into bite sized steps I could manage it all comfortably.
And there it was. In those 2 minutes, I moved from a position of 'doubt and blame' to one of 'excitement and responsibility'.
People who move forwards and get things done still 'go to' victim space but the difference is... they don't stay there for long. They make a conscious choice to take action rather than dwelling in a space they don't want to be.
In the world of work, you may have come across the concept of 'above and below the line' thinking.
If the terms are unfamiliar to you, the basic premise is that 'above the line' thinking is the place of responsibility whilst 'below the line' thinking is the place of blame:
In my view, it comes down to choice. When confronted with an issue do you choose to take responsibility/action or do you choose to blame others or make excuses (or simply hide under your desk)?
Clearly 'below the line' thinking is the choice of someone taking a victim role.
It's such a simple concept and yet profound.
If you think you might have a tendency to adopt roles that don't help you get the best outcomes for you, here are some questions to challenge yourself with:
1. In the main, which position do you choose - Victim or Hero?
2. Is there a particular situation at the moment where you're playing Victim and you know in your heart that it's not serving you?
3. What attitude or behavioural changes do you want to make - right now - to move to a position of responsibility and solution-orientated thinking?
I'd love to hear your experiences around 'victim' orientated thinking... email me any time or post your comments below.