Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Do You Find Yourself in the Drama Cycle Too Often?
The 'Drama Cycle' is a fascinating concept.
The idea is that in any drama (or disagreement) each participant adopts a role.
Perhaps in situations like this, you often play 'victim'?
For there to be a victim, there would need to be a 'persecutor' too. And then, we all know of them, there are 'saviors' who try to rescue the situation.
The reason this is called a cycle is because all the roles are interchangeable. Any two people can easily move between each of the 3 roles during the same 5 minute argument.
Here's an example:
Person 1 ('Persecutor'): "I've told you so many times that your whining drives me crazy."
Person 2 ('Victim'): "Well I can't help it!"
Person 1 (now 'Rescuer'): "Jeez, please don't cry; I didn't mean to sound so aggressive."
Person 2 (now 'Persecutor'): "You've got such a nasty temper - I can't bear being near you."
Person 1 (now 'Victim'): "I've had a bad day at work. That's why I'm angry."
This is also called a cycle because it gets you nowhere; you can go round in circles with this one!
In my view the only powerful position to adopt is a 4th position, which I call the Solution Orientated Observer. In this role you don't get sucked into the drama - you simply review the situation neutrally and look for solutions.
What do you think about the drama cycle and the roles you naturally 'play'?