Friday, May 28, 2010

Some ideas to ponder over coffee!

I visited Network Central yesterday, a fab monthly breakfast for women interested in finding balance in their professional and personal lives. There were some fabulous thoughts that came from the panel and I'd love to share them with you:

1. Once you've made a decision, invest all your energy into the decision, rather than worrying about whether or not you made the right decision!

2. To think that work is purely rational would be wrong. The workplace is full of emotion: anger, jealousy, fear, sadness, joy. We are at the end of the day human beings.

3. You never know who the key stakeholder might be: it could be the receptionist for all you know.

- RW

Monday, May 24, 2010

Our Speaker on 16th June: Elizabeth Woodgate

On 16th June, Liz Woodgate, a proud mum and fitness extraordinaire, is joining us at
'Rise Then Shine' to speak about her personal motivational drivers and the vital importance of team work.

Liz's all-women team came 1st in Oxfam's 100km Trailwalker in 2006, 2nd in 2007 and were the 3rd placed female team in 2008. Liz has completed 9 marathons, 6 Ironmans and was part of the first Australian team to complete the Gore Tech TransApline Race at the end of 2009.

It's tiring just looking at that list!

Join us in 16th June to hear about Liz's amazing stories; see some of the photos from the various events she has competed in around the world; hear about what keeps her going; and be inspired!

Our goal-setting breakfast will follow as usual - our optional theme for the morning will be 'the importance of teamwork'.

Arrive: 645am for a 7am start (Liz will be speaking from 7am). Ends: 840am
Address: 1st Floor, Aurora Bar, 88 Phillip Street, Sydney CBD.

Buy tickets online - they will sell out fast!!!

RW x

VIDEO: See what 'Rise Then Shine' is all about!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

How to Present with Assertiveness

'Ask Rebecca How...' is here to help you solve your professional concerns and offer ideas to help you meet your challenges.

"In smaller 1-1 settings, I talk and present with confidence but really lose my nerve in bigger meetings. How can I assert myself more effectively?" - Joanna

One of the most powerful ways to fast track your career, and be recognised as a leader, is to be able to present your ideas with authority but often, we let ourselves get in the way!

When presenting in front of a larger audience, particular limiting decisions often come into play. Do any of these thoughts run through your head?

a) "What if my opinion is wrong?"
b) "I am not knowledgable enough."
c) "The people in the meeting will judge me."

Largely because of beliefs like these, many people will 'hold back' in bigger meetings, waiting for the ideal time to speak. However, the longer this goes on, the harder it is to interject and offer your view. It's time to make some changes and here are some tips to help you:

1. Prepare for your meetings. Write your ideas and opinions down and rehearse them out loud until you sound convincing!

2. How about this: how can you ever be 'wrong' when 'truth' does not exist? To 'be wrong' implies there can only be one possible answer... which is, when you think about it, ludicrous. All anyone has is their opinion based on their own experiences and view of the world. Give yourself permission to offer your opinion; the worst that will happen is that someone else will have a different opinion to you... and that is all!

3. Focus your attention on the knowledge you do have, rather than worrying about what you don't know (yet)! If you need to do some extra research, do it today.

4. Your audience will naturally make a subconscious judgment about you, based first on your tone of voice and body language... possibly before you have even uttered a word. Practice speaking with an appropriate level of authority and rehearse a few subtle gestures that will support the points you wish to make.

Happy presenting! - RW

4 Steps To Listen Effectively & Build Rapport

I think that 'listening' is one of the most powerful of all communication skills and yet we are never really taught, at school or otherwise, how to do it properly.

Effective listening requires a great deal more than merely 'hearing' what your counterpart has to say. Effective listening requires a conscious commitment to be wholly present and to digest every word that is spoken.

Here are some ideas to help boost your listening skills:

1. Before entering your meeting, leave your own 'stuff' outside of the room! Our minds easily wander and a great tip is to literally 'park' your own distractions at outside of the door before you come in; you can always pick them up later when you leave!

2. When engaging your counterpart, consciously turn off your own inner voice, or mental chatter. This voice constantly lists all the things you have to get done today: 'planning tonight's dinner... organising a meeting with my manager; speaking to Sally about Friday; and oh... God... I've got to buy a present for Joe and when will I fit that in?; the dry cleaning needs collecting....' and so it goes on.

3. Occasionally check in with your partner to clarify her point or to ensure you have understood her correctly. Use her words when you do this - it shows you are really listening and helps to build rapport.

4. A final tip - turn your mobile off and put it in your bag! There's nothing ruder or more distracting than having a mobile on the table!! - RW

2 Tips To Achieve Promotion

"I really want to ensure I am promoted this year. Do you have any tips that will help?" - Lynda

Tip 1: Look around you and choose a senior manager whom you respect and who already holds the position you wish to be promoted to. Observe his/her attitudes, behaviours and skills and note them down. As of today, start to emulate this person. Adopt their attitudes and behaviours; dress in a similar way; stand and walk with a similar posture; even try to think as they do. To be recognised for promotion you must 'act as if' you are already there. By proving, through demonstration, that you are already more than capable of fulfilling this elevated role, your chances of success will be considerably higher.

Tip 2: Note down the date when you wish to be promoted. Keep it close and review it regularly. Be proactive amd ask yourself every day, "What one thing can I do today to help me be promoted by date X?" - RW

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Does Money Really Bring Happiness?

I came across this quote today:
“If you work just for the money, you’ll never make it…
…But if you love what you’re doing, success will be yours.”
Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald’s, said that.
No-one can deny that the glorious Golden Arches of McDonald’s represent a phenomenal success story. McDonald’s was only established in 1955 and now serves 60 million customers daily and boasts whopping annual revenues of US$25 billion.

Ray’s philosophy obviously counts for something… but Rays point, of course, is all about our definition of ‘success’.
How about making a couple of nips and tucks to Ray’s quote?

“If you’re chasing the dollar that’s all you may ever get.
But if you love what you do…
Not only will you enjoy deep satisfaction, you’ll probably get the dollar too.”

It even rhymes! Nice.
- RW

© Rebecca Wells, Ask Rebecca How 2010.

How to Leapfrog The Barriers to your Success!

Ask Rebecca How... is here to help you solve your issues. Here is a question from Marrianne:

"I have lots of doubts in my mind, all the time. They stop me from doing so many things and I'd love to know how to control them."

Rebecca says:
In truth, there are many perceived barriers to success: fear; procrastination; perfectionism (in some cases); needing absolute certainty; lack of time; the list goes on…

One of the most powerful facts I ever learnt was this: these 'barriers' are not real. They are mere perceptions that are created in the mind. They do not 'exist', like the screen you are reading this on - they are created by you in your mind by thoughts... and thoughts alone.
And if YOU created them, then YOU also have the power to dissolve them if you choose to.

Think of the Nike slogan, “Just do it!”. To be successful and to achieve fulfillment, we all need to ‘just do it’!
Here are some options you could choose to act upon today:

  • Take a first step into new territory and see where it takes you.

  • Seize control of your life’s path and open your eyes to the possibilities waiting for you.

  • Make the first move, rather than waiting to be prompted.

  • Try new things on for size just for fun!

You’ll be amazed how much more productive you become; how your relationships blossom; how your self-belief flourishes; and how you enjoy your life all that much more when you are pro-active about going after what you want.
Taking that first step out of what feels comfortable and into your ‘learning zone’ is a great recipe for success.
- RW

© Rebecca Wells, Ask Rebecca How 2010.

The Importance of Mindfulness At Work

There are countless studies that demonstrate how much ‘presenteeism’ costs business.

“What is ‘presenteeism’?” I hear you ask.
If you are at work but spend a lot of time scrolling through facebook; chit-chatting about American Idol; or staring blankly at your computer screen then you are physically ‘present’ but not mentally so.
We can all ‘do mindlessness’ from time to time but this lack of engagement doesn’t just cost companies – you lose out too.

When I used to work for large corporates, I certainly welcomed doses of ‘presenteeism’ to give me some respite from my daily tasks. I have since realised that the reason, certainly for my own ‘mindlessness’ at the time, was the lack of fulfilment my job gave me.

Now, as my work involves either helping clients to achieve their goals or developing my own business, my passion and enthusiasm ooze out of every pore. There is no need for respite, there is no need for ‘a breather’… by finding my purpose, I have fulfilment and as a consequence, enjoy a conscious mindFULness in all that I do.

If you find yourself spending far too much time pushing your pencil around your desk; find excuses to avoid going to work; are dashing off for too many cigarette breaks; or making extra chocolate runs for your workmates, I’d ask yourself this one simple question:
Is it ACCEPTABLE that I am ALLOWING my time to be spent this way?

If it is, that’s fine. Only you can choose to make a change if you want it.

If it isn’t ok and you want to fill your time with projects, tasks and opportunities that excite you, thrill you, make you want to jump out of bed in the morning, and feel completely absorbed and passionate about what you do… then how about booking an Introductory Coaching session with me to explore who you really are and what you really want to do for a living.

You spend a third of your life at work – wouldn’t it be wonderful if that time gave you much greater fulfilment and you looked forward to each and every instalment?

Chat to me today to find out how.
- RW

© Rebecca Wells, Ask Rebecca How 2010.

3 Tips To Present with Confidence!

Pose your challenge to 'Ask Rebecca How...'!

"I absolutely hate presenting in front of large audiences. I go to jelly and my mind goes blank. It's horrible!" - Lucinda

Rebecca says:

Being a ‘good public speaker’ is a skill and skills can be learnt. Here are some tips to help:

1. Keep your presentation simple. The brain can only absorb small chunks of information and chunking your information into 3 main points will help to engage your audience for longer. Ask yourself what your 3 main points are and repeat them throughout.

2. Be aware of your thoughts before you get up there. If you are saying things like, “This is going to be a disaster. I’ll go red, trip up the step and no-one will listen to me.” then I guarantee that is exactly what will happen. Decide on 1 powerful thought that will help you to present more confidently. Here are some suggestions:

  • “I don’t pretend to know everything about this subject but I have some fresh ideas to share with my audience.”

  • “I am an interesting and engaging speaker.”

  • “My presentation meets the needs of my audience and I am fully prepared.”

Remember – your beliefs will be reflected in your behaviour. So makes sure your mind is filled only with positive thoughts and you’re much more likely to present successfully.

3. Do some pre-speech visualisation. Just like a 100m sprinter imagines what he is about to do during every second of his race through to crossing the line, so should you. Picture in detail how you will stand, what you will say, how you will say it and how your audience will respond. The more you visualise success the more likely you are to achieve it.


© Rebecca Wells, Ask Rebecca How 2010. If you would like to replicate any of our content please just ask us.

3 Ways to Share Your Ideas With Rapport

Want some tips to be a better listener, manager or leader? Our 'Better Buddy' tips are just what you need!

"Is it okay to share my own examples or experiences when trying to help my friend solve her problem?"
Rebecca says:

Absolutely! But use these tips to make sure you do it with rapport!

1) Make sure your stories and experiences are relevant to your buddy's situation!

2) Don't 'make it all about you' - it is important to keep your stories short and sweet.

3) If using a friend's experience, refer to them as 'a friend of mine' rather than by name - confidentiality is an important thing!

If done respectfully and with rapport, sharing your own experiences, stories and examples can work wonders to reassure your buddy that other people do come across, and successfully solve, similar issues. - RW

How to work with other without judgment

Want some tips to be a better listener, communicator, manager or leader? Our 'Better Buddy' tips are just what you need!

"I find it hard not to judge others - is that wrong?"
Rebecca says:

Let's face it: it's human nature to judge one another. That said, people who accept others for who they are and how they see the world tend to be more successful, more amicable, attract more people to them and enjoy greater fulfilment in life. I personally find people absolutely fascinating and love the fact that we're all so different!

We all see things differently based on our experiences of the world, our values and our beliefs. As a result it is important to accept that how those around you describe their situation, or challenge, is a direct reflection of how they currently 'sees' the world.

My suggestion is that you accept how they see the situation - it doesn't mean you necessarily have to agree with it. - RW

Copywright, Rebecca Wells 2010. If you would like to replicate any of our content please just ask us!

How to Resolve Conflict and Manage 'Martyrs'

At Ask Rebecca How... we welcome your challenges and offer ideas to help you meet them. Mel has posed the following concern:

"I keep having the same cyclical argument with my mother. We never seem to get anywhere and I'm fed up with her being a 'martyr'. Please give me some ideas as to what to do."

Rebecca says:

It is so frustrating when the same discussion comes up time and time again, especially if you never seem to reach a positive outcome. One of the most effective things you could do is to identify the triggers that cause things to spiral out of control. Perhaps one of you says something in particular, or there is a specific behaviour that 'activates' the argument? If possible, simply prevent the triggers from 'firing'.

You have also described your mother as a 'martyr', a role similar to that of a 'victim'. This role can often be manipulative and can easily control, or direct, the discussion. Logically for there to be a 'victim', there also needs to be a 'persecutor'.

Think about the way you behave towards your mother - are you (or those around you) encouraging her to 'remain' in the victim spot?

What might you do differently? One suggestion is not to get sucked into her game, which is to make you take pity on her (and allow her to stay a 'martyr'). React calmly, resist any temptation to bite back, or 'persecute' her and ignore any martyr-type statements she makes.

By removing anything that might fuel her martyrdom she will soon lose interest in this role. - RW

TIP - How to Overcome Feelings of Incompetence

At 'Ask Rebecca How...' we welcome your challenges so that we can offer some suggestions to help you meet them. Here's a challenge we've received from Clara:

"My boss thinks I am incompetent and it's making me miserable. Any thoughts to help me?"

Rebecca says:

How do you know, for sure, that your boss 'thinks' you're incompetent? What evidence do you have? Has s/he ever said so, in these words? My guess is that your belief above is founded on very little and is merely a mindread or assumption.

Let's take a step back for a moment. Imagine you can see yourself at work, as if you are floating above yourself. Observe what 'you' are doing in the picture. Are you behaving incompetently?

If 'no', what makes you think your boss believes your behaviour to be incompetent? Is this an assumption you have made that you are allowing to affect your mood?

If 'yes', what are you doing specifically that tells you so? Write your thoughts down.

Ask, "What is missing for me to act this way?"
  • Do you need to acquire more knowledge for example?
  • Or some more experience to give you greater competence?
Think about the action you could take, perhaps discuss this action plan with your boss, and then action it! - RW

The Launch of Rise Then Shine!

Wow! We had such a fantastic time on Wednesday! It was fabulous to be part of the activity and energy at our launch 'Rise Then Shine' event!
We're really excited to see the 'Ask Rebecca How...' community growing already and are looking forward to bringing even greater focus, personal fulfilment and success to your life!

There was such a buzz around the place - and a real energy from all the ladies who got stuck in and began to discuss their challenges!
We had all sorts of goals being set and explored. Some were around our optional theme, 'building stronger relationships' including 'opening communication channels with my sister' and 'developing a stronger relationship with our suppliers' whilst others focused on working smarter: 'becoming habitual about planning my week ahead'.
We're so looking forward to celebrating members' successes on 19th May at the next 'Rise Then Shine'! And remember to hold your buddy accountable between now and then!

Want to connect with us? Join our facebook group. If you prefer 'tweeting' we're out there on twitter too as well as posting challenges for your comments on LinkedIn. Whatever your preferred social media platform, we're there!

We would love to see you at the next 'Rise Then Shine' event on 19th May. There are fabulous launch discounts currently available on both casual tickets and memberships. Better yet, bring a friend - we've some special deals available for groups of 2+ and 5+!
Visit our site for more info: