Emotions: The Way To Ruin a Good Relationship

Isn't it interesting how raw emotions can be tasted in a room? Say you entered a room where two other people had just had an argument - you'd probably subconsciously 'sense' the tension in the air and get a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right. Emotions - both happy and negative - can have a profound effect on the energy in the room. I'm sure there's some science to explain that... I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there is some! I'd welcome your feedback and ideas on that one... Think of the grumpiest person you know. Got one? Right... I bet you that being around them, when they're being overtly negative, has a dulling effect on you. You probably feel uncomfortable - maybe like you're treading on eggshells? At worst, their behaviour could make you feel sad. As children we used emotion to get what we wanted. Babies and toddlers cry for attention, or throw a tantrum to try and get their own way. Most of us learn that negative emotion isn't enjoyable to others and develop new ways to influence people and retain our friends. Some adults however stick to their guns and continue to allow grumpiness to take over. And it's ugly. If you're keen to see your relationships last another 10 years+ and to know that people enjoy being around you, it's worth asking yourself these questions: * Do you allow your emotions to negatively effect others? * If so, what do you gain? What are you losing? * And most importantly, what are you prepared to do about it? Take action and enjoy the outcome! - Rebecca

The Power of Authentic Behaviour

Authenticity is about being 'true' or 'real' to yourself and to those around you. What happens when you are inauthentic is essentially a values clash. What am I talking about, a values clash? Well you have a set of values that sit in your subconscious. These values are a reflection of your true self. When you act inauthentically, you act against your own values which will inevitably result in your feeling uncomfortable. You might even reprimand yourself: "Why did I just say that?" "Why did I just do that?" In a corporate environment it is easy to act inauthentically. You might behave in a particular way because you believe it is expected of you. You might act inauthentically because you wish to protect yourself from showing what you truly think or feel. This is all perfectly natural but I do believe you can behave authentically, in a way that does not create an inner conflict or that does not make you feel uncomfortable. The first step that a Neon Zebra would take is to know her own values. Here is a starting point - ask yourself these questions: 1. What is important to me about how I behave at work towards others? 2. What is important to me about how others behave towards me? 3. What will I absolutely not stand for? 4. How do I wish others to perceive me? 'Values' are not as complicated as they might appear at first and once you've got a better understanding of what yours are, I guarantee you'll feel stronger and more certain about yourself, freeing up valuable thinking space to help propel you forwards. - Rebecca

Are You Compromising Your Personal Brand?

Our ultimate coaching program, Neon Zebra, has a unique focus. As well as exploring a range of leadership, personal and professional goal setting strategies (amongst other things!) it also has a strong element of personal branding strategy included in it. I am a huge advocate of authentic personal branding. What do I mean by that? In a nutshell it is about uncovering what is unique and special about you and what value you have to offer - from both a personal and professional perspective. I have found, over the years of coaching many professional women, that one of the issues so many women struggle with is understanding what their value is and, possibly more importantly, being able to communicate that value with total confidence. This is what makes Neon Zebra so special because it is the only career coaching program that delves so deeply into this essential area of personal development. So let's talk about it some more. Authentic personal branding is about being true to yourself. This means the strategies are unique to you and what matters most to you (your values). For example we don't advocate any one particular style of leadership to clients because each and every client has a unique approach to leadership that works most effectively for her. So the question I'd like you to ponder is this: Are you being your Authentic Self at work? - Rebecca

Does 'Beauty' Matter in Getting Ahead?

Human Capital Magazine has just published an article linking beauty to employability.

The question is, do looks matter?

The resounding response is that 'yes they do': ..."a growing body of research indicates that Australian, UK and US employers view aesthetic factors such as voice, grooming, and personal style as ‘skills’ – and they’re willing to pay a premium to get it."

Read the full article here.



According to Professor Warhurst at the University of Sydney, "people who are perceived to be better looking command pay premiums of between 10-16% over those who are less blessed in the looks department, and are in fact two to five times more likely to be employed in the first place".

I'd like to discuss this from a psychological perspective and then from a personal branding viewpoint.

Subconsciously we all make decisions phenomenally quickly. And when it comes to making positive or negative judgments about other people, we do it in the blink of an eye.

It might be the case that another person's beauty - or rather how attractive you find them - affects that judgment. When I talk about 'attractive' here, I am not referring to a physical or sexual attraction - more, that you simply like that person.

When you are attracted to another person I believe there are a number of things going on:

1. It is likely that you enjoy their energy - you like being around them.

2. They probably make you feel good about yourself.

3. They might have a subtle confidence that reassures you.

4. There is a consistency between what they are saying and how they are saying it (their tone of voice and body language are true to their words).

I don't think employability is so much linked to beauty, but rather to likeability.

From a personal branding perspective, there is a great deal you can do to cement your image further.

As well as mastering the four skills listed above there are some additional things you might try:

1. Adopt a personal style and grooming that fits your personal brand.

2. Understand and know what your value is - I believe that people who can confidently communicate their value, say in a job interview, are far more likely to be successful than those who can not.

3. Be assertive when you communicate - that is about what you say, how you say it, how you walk, your posture and a myriad of other factors (but that's enough for now)!

What do you think?

- Rebecca

Falling at the First Hurdle? How Resilient Are You?

Resilience is vital to get ahead in life.

It's what pushes you successfully through the tough times, both in your personal and professional experiences.

I believe that most women need a special kind of resilience in the workplace. Why? Because we are regularly faced with challenging circumstances that test both our patience and ability to respond unemotionally.

I'm sure you'd agree that we all make better decisions, and are able to maintain focus, when we have control over our emotions.

A client I worked with recently was finding her boss to be particularly demanding and by the end of the week, my client was finding her own stress levels rocketing.

Resilience is essential here. It's about standing firm when things get tough, brushing yourself off when things get even harder and being determined to see through the situation towards a brighter future.

Resilience is all about bouncing back and doing it all with a smile on your face.

Easier said than done?

Here are some tips to help:

1. Identify the challenging relationships you have with the people you work with...

2. Where possible, speak to them if they are overstepping your boundaries and explain how you would prefer the situation to be.

3. Think quickly: what 3 things could you potentially do here to find a solution? Choose the best idea.

4. Remember to laugh; there's nothing like a drop of humour to lighten a situation.

What are your tips?
What are your proudest examples of showing resilience?

- Rebecca

How Passion Could Damage Your Personal Brand

I am not what I would call a particular fan of 'celebrity' but I do find celebrity fascinating.

Just like you and me, celebrities have personal brands. Some even have two: one for the stage and another for when they're at home on the sofa drinking Milo, wearing ill-matching socks.

Where personal branding is of special interest to me, is when a so-called celebrity deviates from his or her usual guise.

Adele, a usually well-behaved and feminine singer, was 'caught out' yesterday making an obscene one fingered gesture at the Brit Awards.




On the face of it, such a mistake could be quickly forgotten and her 'brand' remain untarnished. Yet undoubtedly, a simple slip like this could also come back to haunt her.

In itself, a two second one fingered 'salute' might not damage Adele's image but the subconscious residue that lingers very well might.

When doubt is thrown over a current perception you have it means you question whether you 'had it right' in the first place. It also leads you to be on the lookout for further evidence to support the new perception.

What are your thoughts?

- Have you made a comment or gesture you later regretted?
- Or perhaps a comment or gesture that was out of character?
- What was the result?

Rebecca

Why Your Current Career Plan is Failing You

Watch this tip on video!

If you want to get ahead in your career in 2012 it's vital that you have a plan. It shouldn't be complicated - this is actually why most plans fail.

In fact it's far better if it's not. Here's a 4 Step process sure to take you to the top!

STEP 1
First up, think about your BHAG for the year. What's a BHAG? A Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

Your BHAG might have nothing to do with work. Perhaps your BHAG, like my friend Lisa, is to run a marathon in 2012.

Maybe you want to be promoted at work.

Whatever your BHAG, think BIG and think AUDACIOUS!

STEP 2

Next, ask yourself what 3 outcomes you absolutely need to ensure to see your BHAG is met. Say your goal, as it is for many of our clients, is to get promoted this year. Your three outcomes might be to:

1. Ensure I am known to key senior decision makers

2. Have an opinion and make sure it is heard in meetings

3. Find out what POs (performance outcomes) I need to meet to enable me to argue my case for a promotion

STEP 3

Create a table with your three outcomes in the left column. Then divide your table into 4 columns with each one representing a quarter (January-March for example).

STEP 4

Lastly, decide on what actions you need to take each quarter to ensure each of your outcomes is met... and stick your plan somewhere obvious, where you'll see it every day.

And then TAKE ACTION! Without that, you have nothing!