Tips for Professional Women Wanting to Stand Out From The Crowd ... with Rebecca Allen
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Do You Find Yourself in the Drama Cycle Too Often?
The 'Drama Cycle' is a fascinating concept.
The idea is that in any drama (or disagreement) each participant adopts a role.
Perhaps in situations like this, you often play 'victim'?
For there to be a victim, there would need to be a 'persecutor' too. And then, we all know of them, there are 'saviors' who try to rescue the situation.
The reason this is called a cycle is because all the roles are interchangeable. Any two people can easily move between each of the 3 roles during the same 5 minute argument.
Here's an example:
Person 1 ('Persecutor'): "I've told you so many times that your whining drives me crazy."
Person 2 ('Victim'): "Well I can't help it!"
Person 1 (now 'Rescuer'): "Jeez, please don't cry; I didn't mean to sound so aggressive."
Person 2 (now 'Persecutor'): "You've got such a nasty temper - I can't bear being near you."
Person 1 (now 'Victim'): "I've had a bad day at work. That's why I'm angry."
This is also called a cycle because it gets you nowhere; you can go round in circles with this one!
In my view the only powerful position to adopt is a 4th position, which I call the Solution Orientated Observer. In this role you don't get sucked into the drama - you simply review the situation neutrally and look for solutions.
What do you think about the drama cycle and the roles you naturally 'play'?
-RW
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