At 'Ask Rebecca How...' we welcome your challenges so that we can offer some suggestions to help you meet them. Here's a challenge we've received from Clara:
"My boss thinks I am incompetent and it's making me miserable. Any thoughts to help me?"
Rebecca says:
How do you know, for sure, that your boss 'thinks' you're incompetent? What evidence do you have? Has s/he ever said so, in these words? My guess is that your belief above is founded on very little and is merely a mindread or assumption.
Let's take a step back for a moment. Imagine you can see yourself at work, as if you are floating above yourself. Observe what 'you' are doing in the picture. Are you behaving incompetently?
If 'no', what makes you think your boss believes your behaviour to be incompetent? Is this an assumption you have made that you are allowing to affect your mood?
If 'yes', what are you doing specifically that tells you so? Write your thoughts down.
Ask, "What is missing for me to act this way?"
- Do you need to acquire more knowledge for example?
- Or some more experience to give you greater competence?
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