There you go - I said I wasn't an avid Australian Open fan and here I am posting comment on it for the second time in a week. Perhaps these late night viewings are helped by the fact that I've now got a newborn in the house?! Yes, you read it correctly... I am posting this at 425am!
You've got to hand it to them - Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal certainly know how to put on a show.
The point I want to make here echoes the observations I made a couple of days ago about the Li Na vs Clijsters fixture...
Mental toughness is what wins you matches.
Federer is without a doubt the most gifted technical tennis player the world has ever seen. His achilles heel? His mind.
Tonight he played Nadal in the semi-final and at 9pm the fireworks (to mark Australia Day) erupted over the Rod Laver stadium. There was a break in play.
Having won the first set 7-6, Federer came back after the break a different player.
His focus was off. His famous backhand (and equally famous forehand) were failing him and as fate would have it, all the luck was going Nadal's way.
Whilst Nadal loudly celebrated every point he won (even the ones at 15 love), Federer became even more silent and brooding.
It wasn't his game that led Federer to lose the match, it was his mind.
Mindsets win matches.
Your mindset is no different. It can be a phenomenal asset or a devastating hindrance. And here's the really interesting part:
- There may be a limit to the level of skill you can attain (let's face it, we can't all be as good as Federer)
- But you have TOTAL control of your mindset
The difference between Federer and Nadal is simple:
- Federer values 'skill set' most highly.
- Nadal values 'positive mindset no matter what' most highly. The result? His competitive advantage.
In my view, Nadal's got it right.
What do you think?
- Rebecca
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
A Lesson from Tennis: Believe in Your Own Convictions
For the first time ever, I've been quite engrossed by the Australian Open, watching a number of matches over the last few days (I'm more of a Wimbledon-once-a-year sort of tennis viewer).
But last night, there was a gripper.
All the hopes of China rested on Li Na, the only professional tennis player ever to have represented China and her opponent, Kim Clijsters was back from retirement and also battling a serious ankle injury.
By the end of the second set it looked like Li had it in the bag, achieving four consecutive match points.
Having been behind throughout the entire match, Clijsters surprised everyone by defending each of those points before going on to breaking Li's serve twice and then convincingly winning the next set and therefore the match.
So where did it all go wrong for Li?
Well to sum it up in two words, she had a mental meltdown.
Li speedily transitioned from being comfortably ahead; acting decisively; and going for difficult shots to questioning her judgment and making a series of unforced errors.
Noticeably she also began to listen to the advice shouted to her from the sidelines - her husband (who doubles up as her coach) began encouraging her to challenge line calls which she wouldn't normally have queried.
His judgment was proven wrong twice and, due to the fact a player has a limited number of valuable challenges they can make, this only added to Li's frustration and dwindling focus.
Isn't it interesting how people question theiur own judgment more readily when under pressure?
'Are other people right and therefore I am wrong?'
'Am I on the right track?'
Having presence of mind is vital when building your powerful personal brand and learning to trust your own intuition - whatever the pressure - is a skill that will absolutely help your self-certainty soar.
When have you stood firm and trusted your intuition under testing cirumcumstances? I'd love to see your comments!
- Rebecca
But last night, there was a gripper.
All the hopes of China rested on Li Na, the only professional tennis player ever to have represented China and her opponent, Kim Clijsters was back from retirement and also battling a serious ankle injury.
By the end of the second set it looked like Li had it in the bag, achieving four consecutive match points.
Having been behind throughout the entire match, Clijsters surprised everyone by defending each of those points before going on to breaking Li's serve twice and then convincingly winning the next set and therefore the match.
So where did it all go wrong for Li?
Well to sum it up in two words, she had a mental meltdown.
Li speedily transitioned from being comfortably ahead; acting decisively; and going for difficult shots to questioning her judgment and making a series of unforced errors.
Noticeably she also began to listen to the advice shouted to her from the sidelines - her husband (who doubles up as her coach) began encouraging her to challenge line calls which she wouldn't normally have queried.
His judgment was proven wrong twice and, due to the fact a player has a limited number of valuable challenges they can make, this only added to Li's frustration and dwindling focus.
Isn't it interesting how people question theiur own judgment more readily when under pressure?
'Are other people right and therefore I am wrong?'
'Am I on the right track?'
Having presence of mind is vital when building your powerful personal brand and learning to trust your own intuition - whatever the pressure - is a skill that will absolutely help your self-certainty soar.
When have you stood firm and trusted your intuition under testing cirumcumstances? I'd love to see your comments!
- Rebecca
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Words I Like: EXPERIMENT
I'm in the midst of reading Timothy Ferriss' "The 4 Hour Workweek" full of ideas and strategies to live life and run a business more efficiently.
The word 'experiment' comes up often. I like it. I think it should be used more often in conversation.
When coaching, the concept of having 'the' right answer rears its ugly head time and time again with different clients:
"What if I don't have the right answer? I'll sound stupid."
"What if I say the wrong thing? I'll look like a monkey."
Fears like these are commonplace so if you see yourself saying either of the above, you can rest safe in the knowledge that you're not alone. That said, it doesn't mean that either statement is likely to propel you forwards.
Let's re-wind the clock.
Think back to being young. Remember how wonderful it was to have no woes. At age 5 the biggest worry you'll have had was whether or not to wear blue or white shoes.
These were days of play. Of experience. Of learning. At this age we were content seeing how things worked, how they could be broken and put back together again.
- We were okay if the building blocks fell over. We just built them up again.
- We were okay if we said the wrong word. We just saw it as an opportunity to learn.
- We were okay if we made chocolate chip cookies with pink icing on top. We just saw it as a means to get more sugar in our bellies.
We were EXPERIMENTING. And not only was it 'okay' - it was also a heap of fun.
Here's a thought: give yourself permission to experiment. To play. To get things 'wrong' and see the funny side.
Life and work are so much more fun when we get curious and choose to experiment rather than seeking the truth or the 'right' answer. Who knows? You might uncover something even better.
Mmmm ... Choc chips cookies with pink icing ... I could be onto something!
- Rebecca
The word 'experiment' comes up often. I like it. I think it should be used more often in conversation.
When coaching, the concept of having 'the' right answer rears its ugly head time and time again with different clients:
"What if I don't have the right answer? I'll sound stupid."
"What if I say the wrong thing? I'll look like a monkey."
Fears like these are commonplace so if you see yourself saying either of the above, you can rest safe in the knowledge that you're not alone. That said, it doesn't mean that either statement is likely to propel you forwards.
Let's re-wind the clock.
Think back to being young. Remember how wonderful it was to have no woes. At age 5 the biggest worry you'll have had was whether or not to wear blue or white shoes.
These were days of play. Of experience. Of learning. At this age we were content seeing how things worked, how they could be broken and put back together again.
- We were okay if the building blocks fell over. We just built them up again.
- We were okay if we said the wrong word. We just saw it as an opportunity to learn.
- We were okay if we made chocolate chip cookies with pink icing on top. We just saw it as a means to get more sugar in our bellies.
We were EXPERIMENTING. And not only was it 'okay' - it was also a heap of fun.
Here's a thought: give yourself permission to experiment. To play. To get things 'wrong' and see the funny side.
Life and work are so much more fun when we get curious and choose to experiment rather than seeking the truth or the 'right' answer. Who knows? You might uncover something even better.
Mmmm ... Choc chips cookies with pink icing ... I could be onto something!
- Rebecca
Monday, December 26, 2011
Sharing My Birth Experience With You!
It's now Boxing Day and I can't believe how quickly December has gone! Three weeks ago I encountered an entirely new experience: a natural, drug-free hypnobirthing birth. The result: our gorgeous little girl, Elise was born!
Here's a pic of her at 2 weeks old:
Elise was 8 days 'late' but, despite talk from our midwives that they wanted to book me in for an artificial induction to 'get things moving', I was adamant that I wanted our baby to come spontaneously - when she was ready. After all, I had been lucky enough to have a straight forward pregnancy and Elise's heart beat was healthy and strong.
At 4am on 5th December I woke up with my first contractions. Having never been a mum before I wasn't sure what contractions would feel like. All I knew was that this was a different sort of feeling. I was so ready to have my baby that I was ecstatic to be feeling these pangs. I woke Ross to let him know that something was happening -and then, knowing all we could do was wait, we went back to bed.
In the morning, the spasms were still coming so I started listening to my hypnobirthing CDs, doing the specific breathing techniques through each contraction and staying as focused as possible on remaining calm and oxygenating my body.
By 10am it was time to go to hospital: the contractions were 5 minutes apart and strengthening. We left, got half way to hospital and I remembered I'd left a candle burning in the living room. There was no way I could relax and stay focused knowing our house could burn down at any minute (!) so we drove back home to blow it out! Back to hospital again... :)
Our delivery room was much more welcoming than I expected it would be. This would be our 'home' for the next few hours!
I was still comfortable enough chatting with Laura (our midwife) and as I didn't seem distressed she suggested we went home for another couple of hours. To be truthful I didn't fancy the car journey home twice again and anyway, my instinct told me to stay put.
I was linked me up to a machine to monitor the contractions (or 'surges' if you want to use hypnobirthing speak) and the baby's heartbeat.
Within ten minutes the waves of contractions started to come more quickly and harder. They sort of punched down from my mid-stomach and across my lower abdomen.
I was glad I'd listened to my intuition and stayed put. An internal exam revealed that I was already 6cm dilated (you need to be 10cm to birth your baby). I think Laura was surprised I was so far along and still calm!
Throughout my pregnancy I had seen my acupuncturist, Olivia Shurdova (who is exceptionally gifted). Amongst other things Olivia had shown Ross and I key acupressure points on my legs, hands and shoulders that, when pressed, would offer natural pain relief. It was time to apply what we'd learnt! Ross began to apply pressure to these points each time a contraction washed across my belly and it made a significant difference.
By about 1pm the contractions had sort of taken over my body. Every 1 to 2 minutes this tightening would surge across my lower abdomen - from the hips into the centre of my belly. Some women describe it as a strong period pain. My experience was quite localised to the lower part of my belly. From my hypnobirthing classes I knew this was the horizontal muscles at the base of my uterus being pulled open and up as a result of the vertical muscles contracting upwards.
I remembered the advice from our tutor: to imagine these muscles as ribbons (or anything flowing, limp and light... like running water or fabric blowing in the wind).
Any of my clients will know that I am a huge advocate of visualisation and mental preparation - I firmly believe in the power of the mind-body connect. Knowing how my body was naturally working to birth my baby, coupled with these visualisations, enabled me to stay totally focused and manage the situation more easily.
At this stage of labour some women like to stand, others to lie down. Many prefer to work through it hunched over an exercise ball. Quite frankly no position for me was comfortable at this point. The best option was standing with my hands on the end of the bed.
By 2pm I asked for the bath to be filled. "I think you've got another half hour before we do that," Laura said. "Nup," I said, "I need to get in the water!" I wanted the warm water around me to soothe the contractions.
Here's a picture of what a birthing bath looks like:
The warmth of the bath water was delicious. Not only did it ease the ache from each surge, it also helped me to feel weightless. Ross was an absolute godsend too at this point. He had also attended the hypno classes with me and knew what to say and when to say it.
In a hypno birth, the role of your birthing partner is vital. Well let's face it, in any birth it helps to have a birthing partner who is aware of your birthing preferences and to encourage you throughout!
Ross' voice became my main focus and enabled me to filter out all other voices and noise. He reminded me to breathe deeply to a count of ten and out for ten - not only did this saturate my body and uterus with oxygen (thereby keeping the muscles maleable as possible) it also brought calmness to my mind.
Every wave, he reminded me too that we were one more contraction closer to meeting our daughter.
Our baby was well and truly down in my birth canal when Laura suggested I stand up. Although gravity is a natural aid to birthing, standing up was the last thing I fancied attempting!
One of my friends had used 'active birthing' techniques, where you walk and stand as much as possible. It seemed logical - and it worked - as soon as I stood up, our baby started to be visible. Hooray - it was time!
In hypnobirthing terms, this is the point where you switch to 'J' curve breathing. This is where you inhale quickly and deeply and then exhale down hard whilst imagining baby is moving out in a sort of 'j' shape.
For me, this was a technique that went totally out of the window as my body's natural instincts took hold. All I wanted to do was push! I could feel the baby surging forwards each time, only to be sucked back in again! After that occuring twice, I twigged that I needed to make more of a concerted effort whilst still allowing time for my skin to stretch.
Within 20 minutes the baby's head was out. Her shoulders were soon to follow. It was only then that I really heard Laura's voice. "Mum you can reach down and pull baby out if you want." What? I thought. I hadn't imagined I would be able to do that! How amazing!
I opened my eyes, looked down and saw this little head and body in the water. Our baby was almost born! I reached down and clasped her little body. It was truly magical. With the next contraction I delivered our baby girl and lifted her out of the water and onto my chest. I think I was in shock - she was finally here and was absolutely perfect.
Here's another pic just after she was born:
Birthing Elise in a natural way was, as I say, a truly magical experience. It is true that I would have been desperately disappointed if I hadn't been able to bring Elise into the world drug free (I believe the combination of water and hypno birthing without drugs or intervention has resulted in an exceptionally calm and healthy baby).
But I was a very lucky mum and had no complications. So now she is here... the true challenge begins!
I hope you've enjoyed hearing about my experience. I would love to hear other parents' birth stories - feel free to post your comments below!
- Rebecca
Here's a pic of her at 2 weeks old:
Elise was 8 days 'late' but, despite talk from our midwives that they wanted to book me in for an artificial induction to 'get things moving', I was adamant that I wanted our baby to come spontaneously - when she was ready. After all, I had been lucky enough to have a straight forward pregnancy and Elise's heart beat was healthy and strong.
At 4am on 5th December I woke up with my first contractions. Having never been a mum before I wasn't sure what contractions would feel like. All I knew was that this was a different sort of feeling. I was so ready to have my baby that I was ecstatic to be feeling these pangs. I woke Ross to let him know that something was happening -and then, knowing all we could do was wait, we went back to bed.
In the morning, the spasms were still coming so I started listening to my hypnobirthing CDs, doing the specific breathing techniques through each contraction and staying as focused as possible on remaining calm and oxygenating my body.
By 10am it was time to go to hospital: the contractions were 5 minutes apart and strengthening. We left, got half way to hospital and I remembered I'd left a candle burning in the living room. There was no way I could relax and stay focused knowing our house could burn down at any minute (!) so we drove back home to blow it out! Back to hospital again... :)
Our delivery room was much more welcoming than I expected it would be. This would be our 'home' for the next few hours!
I was still comfortable enough chatting with Laura (our midwife) and as I didn't seem distressed she suggested we went home for another couple of hours. To be truthful I didn't fancy the car journey home twice again and anyway, my instinct told me to stay put.
I was linked me up to a machine to monitor the contractions (or 'surges' if you want to use hypnobirthing speak) and the baby's heartbeat.
Within ten minutes the waves of contractions started to come more quickly and harder. They sort of punched down from my mid-stomach and across my lower abdomen.
I was glad I'd listened to my intuition and stayed put. An internal exam revealed that I was already 6cm dilated (you need to be 10cm to birth your baby). I think Laura was surprised I was so far along and still calm!
Throughout my pregnancy I had seen my acupuncturist, Olivia Shurdova (who is exceptionally gifted). Amongst other things Olivia had shown Ross and I key acupressure points on my legs, hands and shoulders that, when pressed, would offer natural pain relief. It was time to apply what we'd learnt! Ross began to apply pressure to these points each time a contraction washed across my belly and it made a significant difference.
By about 1pm the contractions had sort of taken over my body. Every 1 to 2 minutes this tightening would surge across my lower abdomen - from the hips into the centre of my belly. Some women describe it as a strong period pain. My experience was quite localised to the lower part of my belly. From my hypnobirthing classes I knew this was the horizontal muscles at the base of my uterus being pulled open and up as a result of the vertical muscles contracting upwards.
I remembered the advice from our tutor: to imagine these muscles as ribbons (or anything flowing, limp and light... like running water or fabric blowing in the wind).
Any of my clients will know that I am a huge advocate of visualisation and mental preparation - I firmly believe in the power of the mind-body connect. Knowing how my body was naturally working to birth my baby, coupled with these visualisations, enabled me to stay totally focused and manage the situation more easily.
At this stage of labour some women like to stand, others to lie down. Many prefer to work through it hunched over an exercise ball. Quite frankly no position for me was comfortable at this point. The best option was standing with my hands on the end of the bed.
By 2pm I asked for the bath to be filled. "I think you've got another half hour before we do that," Laura said. "Nup," I said, "I need to get in the water!" I wanted the warm water around me to soothe the contractions.
Here's a picture of what a birthing bath looks like:
The warmth of the bath water was delicious. Not only did it ease the ache from each surge, it also helped me to feel weightless. Ross was an absolute godsend too at this point. He had also attended the hypno classes with me and knew what to say and when to say it.
In a hypno birth, the role of your birthing partner is vital. Well let's face it, in any birth it helps to have a birthing partner who is aware of your birthing preferences and to encourage you throughout!
Ross' voice became my main focus and enabled me to filter out all other voices and noise. He reminded me to breathe deeply to a count of ten and out for ten - not only did this saturate my body and uterus with oxygen (thereby keeping the muscles maleable as possible) it also brought calmness to my mind.
Every wave, he reminded me too that we were one more contraction closer to meeting our daughter.
Our baby was well and truly down in my birth canal when Laura suggested I stand up. Although gravity is a natural aid to birthing, standing up was the last thing I fancied attempting!
One of my friends had used 'active birthing' techniques, where you walk and stand as much as possible. It seemed logical - and it worked - as soon as I stood up, our baby started to be visible. Hooray - it was time!
In hypnobirthing terms, this is the point where you switch to 'J' curve breathing. This is where you inhale quickly and deeply and then exhale down hard whilst imagining baby is moving out in a sort of 'j' shape.
For me, this was a technique that went totally out of the window as my body's natural instincts took hold. All I wanted to do was push! I could feel the baby surging forwards each time, only to be sucked back in again! After that occuring twice, I twigged that I needed to make more of a concerted effort whilst still allowing time for my skin to stretch.
Within 20 minutes the baby's head was out. Her shoulders were soon to follow. It was only then that I really heard Laura's voice. "Mum you can reach down and pull baby out if you want." What? I thought. I hadn't imagined I would be able to do that! How amazing!
I opened my eyes, looked down and saw this little head and body in the water. Our baby was almost born! I reached down and clasped her little body. It was truly magical. With the next contraction I delivered our baby girl and lifted her out of the water and onto my chest. I think I was in shock - she was finally here and was absolutely perfect.
Here's another pic just after she was born:
Birthing Elise in a natural way was, as I say, a truly magical experience. It is true that I would have been desperately disappointed if I hadn't been able to bring Elise into the world drug free (I believe the combination of water and hypno birthing without drugs or intervention has resulted in an exceptionally calm and healthy baby).
But I was a very lucky mum and had no complications. So now she is here... the true challenge begins!
I hope you've enjoyed hearing about my experience. I would love to hear other parents' birth stories - feel free to post your comments below!
- Rebecca
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Hear From Katherine Brandon
Our coaching team at Clear Horizon Coaching is fortunate to work with many extraordinary women, encourage them to them challenge their thinking and fast track their careers.
It's also lovely to receive testimonials! Here are some words from Katherine Brandon, from English Australia, who I coached in 2011:
“Rebecca Wells of Clear Horizon Coaching has provided invaluable support over the few months that she has been coaching me. We always worked towards clear goals that related to my direct needs, but Rebecca was flexible enough to address other issues that arose. She is a great listener and has a wonderful range of strategies and approaches that she applied to my different needs, and the detailed written records of our sessions continue to be extremely useful.
Rebecca has really helped me to focus, to be more organised and to have more courage and confidence in my skills.
I work as part of a small team and all have commented on how much calmer I was recently when organising our annual conference! I’ve been able to share some of the strategies I’ve learnt in my coaching sessions with the team and this has helped all of us with our strategic planning and our services to our members.
Rebecca is perceptive, systematic, extremely knowledgeable and has the highest professional standards. I cannot recommend her highly enough and I am hoping to continue working with her in the future.”
Thank you Katherine for enabling us to publish your testimonial.
If you'd like to read more testimonials click here!
- Rebecca
It's also lovely to receive testimonials! Here are some words from Katherine Brandon, from English Australia, who I coached in 2011:
“Rebecca Wells of Clear Horizon Coaching has provided invaluable support over the few months that she has been coaching me. We always worked towards clear goals that related to my direct needs, but Rebecca was flexible enough to address other issues that arose. She is a great listener and has a wonderful range of strategies and approaches that she applied to my different needs, and the detailed written records of our sessions continue to be extremely useful.
Rebecca has really helped me to focus, to be more organised and to have more courage and confidence in my skills.
I work as part of a small team and all have commented on how much calmer I was recently when organising our annual conference! I’ve been able to share some of the strategies I’ve learnt in my coaching sessions with the team and this has helped all of us with our strategic planning and our services to our members.
Rebecca is perceptive, systematic, extremely knowledgeable and has the highest professional standards. I cannot recommend her highly enough and I am hoping to continue working with her in the future.”
Thank you Katherine for enabling us to publish your testimonial.
If you'd like to read more testimonials click here!
- Rebecca
Gorgeous Quote
"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it."
- William Feather
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Do You Know Your Strengths?
Just because you can do something doesn't necessarily mean you should do it.
Let me explain. We all have strengths. These are skills that are innate - you were born with natural strengths. Often they are so much a part of who you are, you don't even see them as strengths! But they are!
There will be strengths that you have that you really, really enjoy utilising.
- Maybe you get a real kick out of mediating other people to get an outcome?
- Or you're so organised you can't wait to get back to your desk to tidy it up again?
You should be aware of strengths like these and make it your mission to use them every single day a) because it makes you happy and b)because these strengths come naturally to you.
There is no point however in utilising strengths, however easy they come to you, if you don't enjoy them.
I could...
- paint the wall that needs painting
- write my own marketing copy
- do my own book keeping
...but why would I when I don't enjoy doing any of those things?
Have a think about the tasks on your to-do list. Yes you might be able to complete them all but in doing so, are you playing to your absolute strengths... and most importantly, the strengths you enjoy spending time with?
- Rebecca
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